Casual Letters

Breaking News: Weekend Approaching Death

Do you ever see quotes that are like “don’t live for the weekend” and “make everyday the best day”? I appreciate that mindset, but look, I don’t need that sas. Weekends are ALWAYS going to be better than weekdays. There is absolutely no arguing this. And if you tell me that they’re equal, you’re lying to yourself.

I think of my week in a very methodical and honestly, pretty pessimistic way, but I can’t help it so don’t fight me on this. Here’s how the week goes:

Sunday: can’t-get-anything-done-cause-i’m-too-busy-contemplating-death-day

pre-monday

Monday: Satan’s fun day

monday

Tuesday: Isn’t this supposed to be better than monday?

pretty much monday

Wednesday: Shouldn’t I be dead by now?

why does this still feel like monday

Thursday: Yay it’s fri- crap

how come life is just a never ending monday

Friday: weekend imposter

the next monday is getting ready for attack oh no

Saturday: LIVIN IT UP (by that I mean mostly naps)

monday is scheming

So that’s pretty much how the week goes for me. This weekend I have off Monday, thank god, so I’m in the LIVIN IT UP mode right now, but I can feel the pre-monday doom approaching. It’s like when you hear a fly’s buzz in your ear and then you aimlessly swat the air around you. Then you get a few minutes of peace but then you start to hear the buzzing again. Then the buzzing gets louder and louder and louder until BAM it’s Monday. I am so bad at Mondays. I am so bad at getting up in the morning and performing life tasks. I am not good at being a human. Like I never want to brush my teeth cause that so much work and washing my face, so much effort. Then putting my contacts in, what a hassle, eating breakfast, eh too lazy, and then getting into the igloo that is the car at 7am in complete darkness and you start to wonder if the sun will ever come up again or if it even existed in the first place, cause the total lack of heat in your body right now begs to differ against the sun’s existence. And then the real crap starts. You have to do work and interact with humans in a time of day where everything just seems like it has come to an end. Most days feel like a cycle of this except for the precious Saturday. Saturday is so precious. She’s like a little baby and if anybody hurts her innocence I will personally hunt them down and kill them. The poor little in kids in China that have to go to school on Saturday. They don’t get to experience the beauty of a Saturday. Somebody needs to save them. We need to go and fight to get their Saturdays back. If you’re with me join the resistance, join the fight. We leave at dawn.

Tara L.

P.S. I fooled you! Did you all really think I mean that about leaving at dawn?!? PLEASE! I’m not getting up by then!! Nobody needs that!

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