Casual Letters

Guilty Pleasure #1: Award Shows

Award shows are somethings that everyone loves to hate. I pretend like everyone to be annoyed at award shows, but in reality… I sort of like them. Ugh have to go puke. Why do I like award shows? They are so ridiculous, but oddly intriguing.

There’s something about the awkward conversations between celebrities and interviewers, the celebrities odd stances on the red carpet, and the extremely specific awards given out that is fun to watch.

Watching an award show reminds me of that scene in Jurassic World where the you know the dinosaur can sense where all the heat is and they show that picture of all the heat that is coming from one point in the park because they gathered all of the people there. It’s like the oscars is the ball of heat and I’m the dinosaur. Except I won’t attack them obviously. It just like they’re all in one place. All of them. Crazy.

Since they’re all together in one place its sort of interesting cause it’s like all these worlds are colliding. It feels so current. All the famous people of 2017 in one room. And when one famous person makes a refrence to another famous person, it’s like woah, you guys know each other. There’s this big community of famous people and they all know each other because they’re all famous but they KNOW each other too. I don’t know what I’m saying but it’s all one big spectacle

The host is another enjoyable thing about the show. If you’re a talk show host you’re guaranteed to host a show at least once in your life. It’s probably part of their contract. They’ve been preparing for this since the day they got hired.

Can we talk about for one sec Chrissy Teigen and John Legend? I love them! What does Chrissy Teigen do though? It doesn’t really matter because her and John Legend are the best!

It’s fun to predict which movie I’ve never seen will win from all the nominations of movies I’ve never seen and people I’ve never heard of. I haven’t seen half of these movies up for nomination. But you better bet that I know which one is going to win.

The whole thing is so pointless though. Awards for best sound effects and crap. It’s just like saying which one had the best boom sounds. I love movies, but they’re pretty pointless? And you know what’s even more pointless? Picking which up the movies is the best for literally no reason other than to say they’re the best. And you know what’s even more pointless? Commentating on the dresses the people are wearing at the pointless competition to see which pointless movie is the best subjectively.

But I like it.

Tara L.

P.S. Why do all of the celebrities say to the interviewers, “It was nice seeing you”??????? When have they ever met??? Come on guys, get real, you’ve never met this random dude.

Let's Get Real Letters

Humane Things to Ban! (Hint: it’s NOT humans)

I was thinking today about the 2 things I hate with a passion. Cars and private schools. This got me thinking that if I was president, these would be the first 2 things I’d outlaw. Right off the bat. That was a pretty interesting thought, so now I’m compiling a list of all the things that would be outlawed if I was president. Cause hey, if a egotistical maniac can be America’s president, then so can I.

  1. Private Schools: Probably one of the worst things in the world to exist. It’s not the individual private schools that suck, I’m sure they’re fine,  it’s just the concept or idea of private schools. Another things parents have to cough up a crap ton of money for. Parents are downing in debt for having to send their kids to crazy expense private school and to crazier expensive college. Public schools should be improved! Funded! So paranoid little parents can send their kids there with the guarantee that they’re getting a good education! For free! Amazing!
  2. Cars: Refer to “I Sure Hope Life Isn’t a Highway, Cause I Hate I-95” to gain more insight into my hatred of cars. But seriously though public transportation needs to step up its game, and if I ban cars then public transportation will sky rocket. The environment will get better! People will stop being so angry all of the time! People won’t have to spend money on gas and crap!
  3. Large Hoop Earrings: Honestly, pretty ugly. I’d be doing everyone a favor.
  4. Veggie Straws: I’m tired of people shaming me for eating chips because they opt for the healthy veggie straw. This crap is gross. Vegans, man. How do they enjoy this?
  5. Pull Doors: I hate pull doors. Push is SO much better. And I automatically try to push every door so then when it turns out to be a pull door I get all flustered. So if I was president, bam, push doors, gone.
  6. That Paper That They Claim Is Toilet Paper: Let me begin with, THIS IS NOT TOILET PAPER. This is a napkin. NO this aint even a napkin. This is just paper. If I was president all of this would be gone, and the country would be 200 times happier because we’d all be using triple ply.
  7. 13 year olds: No one wants to deal with them.
  8. Stink bugs: I don’t know how I’d get them out, but I want them OUT. This is probably one issue everyone would agree with. This would be the grounds in which I base my campaign.
  9. Girls khaki pants: I don’t know about guys, but I can tell you I know no girl that enjoys khaki pants. They are horrible. They are so constraining. If you are a girl and you like khaki pants, please, let me know. Prove me wrong. But for all I know no girl likes these things.
  10. The Upstairs Section at Forever 21: I don’t like forever 21 but some people do so I can’t ban the whole thing. But the upstairs section is the worst. Such a mess and all the good stuff is downstairs too so the upstairs is just a big waste of time. Helps no one. The world doesn’t need that much forever 21.

Things I would NOT ban as president:

  1. An entire religion

There it is. The list of things I would outlaw and the list of things no one should even consider outlawing. If you have any suggestions please let me know so I can put them on the list in the future. I forgot so many things I’m sure, a bunch are even popping into my head right now. Socks that are that weird length between calf and ankle, beds that are too short for a 5′ person, and Moe’s. Why would anyone go to Moe’s.

Tara L.

P.S. I’m not going to ever be president in case you’re worried. That would be a disaster wouldn’t it. Almost like if Donald Trump was president. Oh wait… the disaster is real.

Casual Letters

Odd Behavior at the Family Gathering

I just got back from a family party at my grandma’s house. I came to notice the patterns that exist at every single family party, and how being at the family party affects my behavior. Here are some family-party-archetypes that you all have probably seen or experienced in your life (if you’re part of a white-suburban family most likely):

  1. The Wise Pop: The Wise Pop sits in the same seat the whole night with the remote in one hand, and a beer in the other. He gives good hugs and gives out good laughs. The person at the party everyone can’t help but loving.
  2. Hard-Working Grand mom  Poor grandma doesn’t get much help around the kitchen, but she cooks a mean turkey. She’s the first one to welcome you when you walk through the door and the last one to give you a hug before you leave. Everybody loves her and she loves everybody.
  3. Drunk Uncle: Speaks for itself.
  4. A ‘Lil Too Chatty Aunt: A ‘Lil Too Chatty Aunt is a lil too chatty. She talks about her kid’s problem, who can hear everything because they are literally 3 feet away. ‘Lil Too Chatty Aunt has had a lil too much wine tonight. ‘Lil Too Chatty Aunt gossips about other aunt who missed the party a lil too much.
  5. Aunt Who Missed The Party: Murmurs rumble throughout the sunroom the whole night about the aunt who missed the party. Does she think she’s too good for the party? If we all have to be here, then she does too! Really, Aunt Who Missed The Party, really?
  6. The Lone Child: The Lone Child’s other cousin friends did not show up to the party tonight. The Lone Child is abandoned, and mad at their parents for making them attend the party. The Lone Child is also mad at their cousin friends for leaving them hanging like this. They sit on the couch all night, surfing the channels, trying to pass time and fill the void.
  7. The Outlier Cousin: This cousin is much older than all the other cousins and is in the unknown territory between the adult table and the kid’s table. Which will they chose? Stay tuned, on this episode of “Everybody Loves the Rolls.”
  8. The Uncle Who Was Right: Remember that time the uncle said that one thing? Well get a load of this, he was right. The Uncle Who Was Right won’t let anybody get away this. By the end of tonight, everybody, and I mean everybody, will know that he was right.
  9. Child Who Just Wants Some Dang Attention: Will anybody ever pay attention to them? Anybody? Just a simple game of hide and seek, blocks, cards, anything? Just one game guys, help ’em out. They don’t have a phone yet so they basically have nothing to do but sulk. Just one game guys, one game.
  10. Cousin Who Did It: This cousin has done it. Have you heard about the thing they’ve  done? They’ve done it. They are amazing, stellar, a superstar, and all the other cousins are inferior. Cause you know what, they did it.

There it is, the 10 family party archetypes. I hope that you all (all one of you all) can relate to this. I fit about every archetype on here, except the coveted roles of Wise Pop and Hard-working Grand mom. No one can live up to them.

Tara L.

P.S. Did you hear the uncle was right?

Casual Letters

I Sure Hope Life Isn’t A Highway, Cause I Hate I-95.

Driving is such a scam. I’ve been told that it it is so fun and liberating, but I feel none of that. None. All I feel when I drive is the crushing fear that I might kill someone or someone might kill me.

I know that if you are a cautious driver, you won’t get killed, and I try to be cautious. My eyes are wide open and my hands are gripped on the wheel so tight that I can feel the sweat dripping down onto my thighs. That trying to be cautious just makes it worse. I get so caught in one thing that I’ll forget another and then my drivers ed teacher will yell at me and then I’ll get even more nervous and make a wrong turn and it’s just a spiral of mistakes.

Don’t even get me started on my drivers ed teacher. I am fairly sure he is the 3rd worst person to walk this Earth. His little beard taunts me. I would punch that guy if I could.

Not trying to get expelled though.

One time he put his hand on the rear view mirror and asked me what kind of car is behind me. What the heck??? Is he an idiot?? Sorry I can’t tell you the model, brand, color, and number of passengers in the car behind me! And also why would you put your hand on the mirror!!! I am a freaked out teen driver, why would you cover that up, one wrong move and I could crash this car in minute.

Sorry got real heated there that man gets me going. Anyway, he made me hate driving. I know many of you may love driving on the open road, letting your hair down, blasting some music, but its just not for me. For once in my life I WANT to take public transportation. I don’t think anyone has ever said that before. Either that or my parents will drive me around for the rest of my life. I’m cool with either.

Tara L.

P.S. Sorry for the lack of posts, I already broke the nice streak I had going there. This blog is like a new year’s resolution just waiting to fail.

Casual Letters

Lists and the Illusion of Productivity

Hi!

I am a list hoarder. Whenever I have a random thought or idea I’ll put it down on my notes app. My notes app is chaos. I’m too lazy to type more than 3 words so when I want to remember something I’ll put down one random word thinking I’ll know what it means later. Then I’ll look back and be like what the heck did I mean by “muffins”? So then I’ll write down muffins again so I’ll remember to figure out what muffins means. It’s a vicious cycle.

I’m very defensive about my lists on my notes app because they are quite embarrassing and frankly they make absolutely no sense. But I continue this pointless process because I feel appeased when I put down the random things that pop up into my head. When anybody tries to look at my lists I will yank he phone out of their hands.

I also make lists most Fridays outlining what I have to do for the weekend. When I make them I also think about how great and productive I’m being when in essence I am getting literally nothing done. I should be using this time to get done what’s on the list. Ah, the illusion of productivity. And when I write down the list I’ll put the most simple tasks on it just so I have something to cross of the list. Put laundry into drawers. Go to friend’s house. Brush teeth. Breathe.

Once I cross off those pointless tasks I say to myself that I’ve got enough done for the day and I deserve a break. I have a bad habit of cutting myself a break after doing literally nothing. So then the weekend goes by and it is Sunday night and the stuff on the list that urgently needed to be done, remains uncrossed.

As you can see I do all these things to make myself feel like a productive person with a stellar work-ethic, but all I’m doing is lying to myself. Yet I continue this every weekend, and I am not about to stop. Cause hey, you gotta got yourself a break sometimes (see I did it again). I’m the kind of person that loves buying new school supplies, but hates actually using. I love to sit at my desk with my computer ready to do some work, but then “accidentally” open up netflix and watch 6 episodes of scandal.

Tara L.

P.S. I also have a planner that I do not do any planning on, but I like to keep it with me to feel like a go getter :).

Let's Get Real Letters

It’s not you, it’s the plot.

Anybody knows me knows that I am a TV phanatic. Watching TV is seen as a bad thing, but we all do it. Ive watched so many shows and I can go on and on to you about the shows I recommended and have rewatched 7 times, but instead of doing that I’ll tell you about the TV shows that were almost great, but didn’t quite make it. I never got hooked on them. They showed promise, I pretended to enjoy it, but they just lacked something so I never finished them.

All my failed TV relationships:

  1. Veep – I watched a good season and a half of this. I liked it but it was a little too much. A little too much going on, a little too much excessive cursing, and a little to much chaos. A show should have a lot of stuff happening so you are kept on your toes, but not too much that you feel overwhelmed. That’s the problem I had with veep. Also, there is not one quality character. I don’t have to like EVERY character, but there has to be one that I’m rooting for. All the characters on veep were dislikable. No redeeming characteristics. Maybe one day I’ll try veep again, but today is not that day. Type of breakup: It’s not you, it’s me (it’s actually you).
  2. Arrested Development – Arrested development was good. There was a couple characters I liked, it was funny, and it was pretty unique. It was just missing something and I found myself not wanting to watch more than one episode in a row. Which isn’t a common thing for me. I feel like I will try to watch this again but it won’t work out again. But maybe you’ll like it. It just wasn’t for me. Someone else also came into the picture (a different TV show). Type of Breakup: I’m seeing someone else.
  3. Reign – Reign and I were going so good. Reign had it all. It was amazing in every possible way. But then BAM one episode and it all falls apart. I try to get back into it but I can’t. I don’t want to give a big spoiler alert so I won’t say what happened, but it was a big fall out. Such a sad story. Type of Breakup: WE’RE DONE.
  4. The Fosters – I tried really hard to like the fosters. I watched it after I finished gossip girl, and was experiencing a rough time. It was destined not to work out. Plus, there were many flaws. The weird incest vibe going with the girl and her foster brother, the incredibly annoying lead character, and the repetitiveness of every single episode. Type of Breaking: I just got out of a long-term relationship and I was too quick to get into this.

There are all of my TV breakups. I’ve finally come to the point where I can talk about this. Just joking. Anyway, happy TV watching!

Tara L.

P.S. A follow up to “Walking on Sunshine (in February)”… I got out of school today! HALLELUJAH!

Casual Letters

Walking on Sunshine (in February)

Hey guys!

Today was 65 degrees! In winter!

I became a new person. I sprang out of my shell. I am new.

I’ve self diagnosed myself with seasonal depressive disorder because in winter I literally want to die 24/7. But today I walked out of school and wow! The sun was hitting my skin! So when I got home I immediately put on shorts, jumped on my trampoline, sun-bathed, dived in the pool, and called an official beginning to summer 2017. If it actually was summer I’d probably be curled under 5 blankets at the fire because 65 degrees would feel like the tundra. But today it felt like I was living in Hawaii. I took it a little too far but I was just feeling so great.

All my problems seemed to disappear. I realized that all bad things end so life is pretty good when you think about it. School ends at 2:30, winter ends in June, and Trump’s presidency ends in 4 years! So if everything comes to an end then it’s all okay. Life will go on AND be good once you’ve got the bad thing out of the way with!

See, on a regular winter’s day I would not have these thoughts. I’d feel like life is just eternal death, and the sun will never come up, and winter will just go on until I die and I’ll be left to die with hypothermia. And in winter my problems seem HUGE. I drop my pencil. My life is over. I don’t have a partner. Mine as well be dead. I sneeze. Life is the worst. However when I stepped out into the sun today I kid you not I literally didn’t care if anything went wrong in the day. That NEVER happens. Life should just be one eternal summer!

This is why I’m very worried. I feel so good right now. Life is good. The world is just. There’s some puppy wagging his tail right now. But tomorrow the forecast is 5 inches of snow. Earth, am I right? But really I have spring fever right now, but tomorrow I’m gonna be drowned by snow? How does that work? All my teachers got my hopes up for no school. That means I’m going to have school. But like the idiot I am I didn’t do my work for tomorrow cause they said no school. I’m worried because my seasonal depressive disorder has finally been lifted, done away with. If I have school tomorrow AND there’s snow, it’ll be back. It’ll be back in full swing, and I’ll be hit real hard. I can’t bear the thought of the brown mushy snow on the side of the roads, the cold, my inability to be able to wear certain shoes outside. I hate the snow. And if it’s there I better not have school. If I do I’ll be oh so sad. So if you’re out there please pray that this poor little brat won’t have school cause she does not want to go back to the sad pit of dispair that is winter.

Tara L.

P.S. Okay looking back on everything I wrote, this sounds a little too dark. I just hate winter. And the snow. And when the poor dogs are shivering on the sidewalk. And I already said it, but the dang gross brown mush on the side of the road that makes me want to puke.